Why is it nice guys like me always seem to always finish last. Times like now make me feel as though should just disappear and never be found. Right now I feel as though should just jump in my car and just keep driving till I rtun out of gas and that is where I start a new life. Or better yet just ending it all. I know all this is a bunch of jibberish.

 I am learning more and more about myself when I think about it. I now see why I just dont really like the holidays or special days like birthday. It cause i always seem to be alone and that likely will never change.  I feel as though it maybe time to say enough on some things. Is it time to say good bye to some or should I keep on trying to fight for things?